Baby Loss Awareness Week is held annually from 9 to 15 October. It includes the loss of a baby in pregnancy, labour, birth and beyond. The week ends in a celebration of remembrance with the Wave of Light.
1 in 4 women experience a miscarriage
1 in 4 women experience a miscarriage. Yes, that’s 25 percent of the female population who fall pregnant will hear that their hopes of raising a child with that pregnancy have been shattered.
Yet how many women have you heard actually talk about their loss? Unfortunately, miscarriage is still seen as a taboo subject. It is only when you experience one, do you then realise how many people around you have gone through the same traumatic experience.
14 family’s lives are shattered due to stillbirth or neonatal loss
In the UK, every 90 minutes a baby dies shortly before, during or soon after birth.
Why do these babies grow their wings?
There are several reasons why babies don’t survive. Many people think that stillbirths happen because of a developmental or genetic problem. This however is the case for fewer than one in ten stillborn babies. For as many as 6 in 10 stillborn babies, the cause of death is not known.
Here in the UK, more than 60 charities across the UK have united for Baby Loss Awareness Week, to raise awareness about the key issues affecting those who have experienced pregnancy or baby loss in the UK. Throughout the week bereaved parents, their families and friends, have united with each other and others across the world to commemorate the lives of babies who died during pregnancy, at or soon after birth and in infancy.
This matter is very close to my heart:
Our babies, no matter how early in pregnancy, or how many moments they were earth-side, they are always loved - and never forgotten.
Join us in the global ‘Wave of Light’ in memory of all the babies who lit up our lives for such a short time on 15 October at 7pm.
#breakthesilence #WaveOfLight #BLAW2018 #BLAW2018 #Babyloss
Follow Magical Baby Moments on it’s social channels:
Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
On 13 March 2011, my life changed forever. It was the day that I gave birth to my son, and also the day he went to heaven. My life was instantly shattered to smithereens – why us? Why? Why? Why? Yet in the pit of my stomach and in the depths of my grief, I felt that there was a significant purpose to why it was me. Of course at that point I didn’t know why, but what I did know is that his death would not be in vain.
Fast forward to mid-2012, and I discovered that I could be a hypnobirthing teacher. I had taught myself hypnobirthing during the pregnancy of my son, and built upon this with further practice with my rainbow baby (a baby born after losing a child). I came across KGHypnobirthing. I rang the number and got through to Katharine Graves herself who assured me that I would be a perfect candidate to become a Hypnobirthing Teacher.
I relayed my excitement to my mum, who reminded me that I had a good job in London, where I got to travel the world and get paid well for it…why would I want to embark on something so ‘unknown’. So I put that idea on pause and returned to work after maternity leave.
I worked for FIPP, the international magazine media association, and despite the wise advice from mum, the industry was in decline and the ‘passion’ for my job was eroding fast with each passing day. Then it occurred to me that being a hypnobirthing teacher is only going to ever be an evening or weekend thing (because expectant parents tend to work 9am-5pm, Monday to Friday), so why not take it up as a ‘hobby- job’ – or at least that is how I presented it to my family.
In August 2015, I did the teacher training course, with Katharine Graves in London, and gained my qualification. Magical Baby Moments, my own company, was born. Logo, website, leaflets and marketing were soon created. It took a little time to get the word out, but soon I was taking regular bookings and after teaching for a while, I could see that word was spreading in my area about the work that I was doing. It felt awesome.
What I didn’t appreciate quite as much was, that while word was spreading, there were still a lot of mums who didn’t know what hypnobirthing was and how it could benefit their pregnancy, labour and birth. This became a bug bear - people scoffed at the word ‘hypnobirthing’ thinking it was some airy-fairy thing that didn’t apply to them. Thanks to Suzy Ashworth’s, The Baby Business School, which I was also a part of, I came across the idea of building upon what I currently was offering, and the idea to write a book came to me. Why not write a book about the awesomeness of hypnobirthing and how it is not just for low-risk mums, yummy mummy's or whatever other stereotype or classification that people want to label this to, but instead is a skillset that every expectant mum and her birth partner should be aware of and entitled to learn. Investing in a hypnobirthing course is upwards of £200 – when you factor in all the other expenses of this unborn little person, people may question whether they can invest in this. So I decided to write a book to inform parents of the benefits of it and entitled my book The Power of Hypnobirthing: 10 reasons why it’s for you. This book explains 10 solid reasons how mothers and their birth partners can benefit from a course, regardless of their situation. Whether you are a first time mum or have given birth before, this book can help explain the benefits of attending a course.
In doing so, I approached Katharine for her approval to use one of her quotes in my book. She immediately said yes, but it also prompted her to ask me to see if I would be interested in being part of her team to teach individuals to become hypnobirthing trainers (‘hell, yeah!’ as the Americans would say).
On 21 September 2017 I completed the final part of my training to be a KG Hypnobirthing Teacher Trainer. On 25-27 November 2017, I co-taught the KG Hypnobirthing Course to 30+ excited individuals who are also passionate about helping mothers have a more comfortable and confident birth experience.
Both on that flight from Glasgow and again as I returned home from the course, I reflected on my journey over the last 2/3 years. I realised that when you commit to something you are opening up many unknown ways to enable change, even if they are unfathomable to you at the time.
Sometimes we get stuck doing what we are familiar with, but we have an inner voice telling us that we might want to change things up. Sometimes making that decision takes a while, often the unknown is terrifying. Why spill the apple cart? Spill away... because what's waiting for you around the corner may be a scary unknown but it's also likely to be an exhilarating ride with unexpected new opportunities.
I had first thought about teaching hypnobirthing in 2012. It didn't become a reality until 2015, but it became a reality nonetheless. In 2017, I self-published a book, The Power of Hypnobirthing: 10 reasons why it’s for you (available on Amazon), which lead to me being asked to work with KGHypnobirthing. It has also opened up two other exciting opportunities that I will announce in the New Year. Wow, just wow!
If your dreams sound crazy to others, it's because they don't have the vision you have. That is their limitation, not yours. If you believe that an idea is possible, work out the steps that it will take to make it a reality. Take one step at a time and one day you'll look up and see that you made it happen.
So whether this relates to how you want your labour and birth to be, how you want to experience your wedding day, or if you want to make a career change. Put your mind to it, take action and see what wonderful opportunities open up to help you make it a reality.…or to quote something that we teach to our parents; ‘The body follows where the mind leads’.
As a final thought for this post, teaching this first weekend marks start of my journey as a Hypnobirthing Teacher Trainer. Now I not only have the opportunity to pass on my knowledge to expectant couples, but now that ripple can extend even further to individuals across the world who go on to teach couples in their own area. (yes I really mean that, this first teacher training weekend had people taking KGHypnobirthing back to Greece, Hungary, China, Spain and more).
So did the loss of my beautiful baby have a bigger meaning? Yes it did. His legacy will live and breathe in every couple that I teach and every person that I teach to become a trainer. Thank you so much my angel, here’s to you!